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Daily bugle: 200 Miles per hour

So right now I'm multitasking. Its a habit of mine. Chatting, while on a downloading spree, watching videos on youtube, doing my computer project and blogging.

We have like 19 chapter for our computer project and we're supposed to write a system, its due on July. Its been five months and I'm still stuck at chapter 6. Only one person in our class has finished. Some haven't even started. The main reason I'm only at 6 is because, I can't find time to do my project at home (except for today). And I only go to the project class once a week. And I've forgotten my pendrive for three weeks. And When I did bring it, the file was corrupted. So yeah, delay , delay ,delay. It was more of a procrastination thing. But then, we're rushing now. So what's the use.



There's so many things I wish would be. I wish that we could browse our memories. If we've forgotten anything, just go in to our memories and browse it. I want to browse mine to see the people I knew when I was young. Because they're all so different now. I wish we could manipulate time. Make the bad times go, and the good times come. Make the magical moments stay, rewrite our mistakes. But I guess that won't ever happen.

I also wish dreams had their own world. We'd live in two separate worlds. In our dreams and in reality. People do live dreams. I'm living mine, but it's like a living nightmare now. I had a strange dream last night. It was about discrimination. So this post goes out to a friend of mine. His name is Christian Marc.

He's from the Philippines and he studies in a Chinese school in Brunei. He faces racism and discrimination every single day. Well racism is a form of discrimination. He talks to me about his problems. I can say, its quite tough for him. But he's lived with it for 10 years. He can even speak Chinese. He's still strong. He's still head up living high. Like nobody's business, he's not giving a fuck.

In my dream, it was about him (not that I'm gay). People were discriminating him, criticizing him, bullying him. And I said something to them in my dream.

"We're all only human. We're all born without our controls. Its not our fault we're chinese, or pinoy or whatever. If you discriminate someone because their skin color is different, you can go rot in hell. What is the problem with being Pinoy? We think the same, we look the same even. Is it jealousy ? Think about the next time someone discriminates you because you're Chinese. How'd that feel? "
I think I said that. I can't really remember. I don't really know if I said that or not. I'm pretty sure I did.

There's also nothing wrong with being gay. Sure its disgusting to you, but there's nothing wrong at all with two men in love. Same to lesbians.

Anyways, last night was our school's Generation Dance finals. I wanted to watch , but it was my father's birthday , and I had lessons.

My father is an awesome person I tell you. No other words are needed.

That is all. Thank you :D

Sam
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Before Sunrise:Music fest

I didn't know the outcome of our school's music fest. Or maybe it wasn't determined yet. Most of them were better than average. Some of them suck. A few of them was awesome.

I watched the Royal Wedding yesterday. All I've got to say is, Wow. That's a huge ass beautiful wedding. One lucky girl, one lucky prince. In westminster abbey. It's gotta be the wedding of the decade.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm an attention seeker. Maybe I am. But I only seek her attention. For the past few months, its been cold. Maybe I'm overthinking. But it wasn't like this during the first few months of the year. It's making me feel terrible. I've not a clue of what to do. I wanna show her that something's wrong but I don't want her to worry. I wanna show her,for her I'd handle anything but she won't notice if I make it seem fine.

Seriously, my thoughts kill. They're pointing to my brain with revolvers and knives. Maybe all I wanted was just her care. I was so used to being cared by her. I guess I have to get used to changes. I try my best not to think about it, but it's really all I can think about. I miss her. Its time with her I need. Just time will fix this up. For now, I've no idea.

I sprained my right ankle. I don't know how I will swim tomorrow. But I know it will be hardcore. Oh wells,  I end this short thought.

Sam
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Daily Bugle: 100th

I love my friends. Today, I was down. They bought me chocolate. I didn't thought they'd bother to spend. It's the first time in my life someone bought me chocolate because I was down. It definitely made me better. Chocolate's definitely my remedy for depression.

The scene of my friends arguing around me puts a smile on my face. I love them. Thanks for cheering me up today Lee, Laila, Yousof, Faiz,Liyana, Arinah and Chee Boon.

100th post anyways.
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Before Sunrise: Song without words

So last night I wrote a poem (that doesn't really rhyme) without a single verb! Well I think its technically correct.

"There is a girl, she has a beautiful smile,
She has long wavy hair and eyes of the wild.
Every single minute, she's always on my mind,
Every single day, in my heart is where she is.
A long time ago,we're both only strangers,
now things are different,we're both already lovers.
Time, such a fast thing it is,
by the next second, no more, that's what it is.

Like a rose that has much thorns,
pain and despair will be there,
however it has impeccable beauty,
one that is definitely desirable.

She is my world,she is my life,
both of us we're like a knife.
Problems are no more,
when it itself is such a bore.

This beautiful girl, that of mine,
she is a woman who is incredibly fine.
Forever more she is my love,
we're like a pair of birds, maybe a pair of doves."

I guess that's right. Doesn't really rhyme, doesn't really makes sense. But whatever. I forget what the structure is called. Stuff without verbs, hmmm. It was mentioned OMG-Facts! before.

Sometimes our minds are like water. Its best to leave it calm. I guess that's me. You  either ripple it in a nice wave , or you get swish-swoshled around. 

June is coming, I'm not actually feeling the pressure, but I can see the urgency of this KK music festival. I can see how I'm not playing that at all well, I can see how I haven't even finished learning my toccata! AND I HAVE To achieve all golds. Pressure? I don't think so.

-Sam
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Before Sunrise: Manners, Manners

What is with our younger generation?! They're so fucking rude. I mean, the way they treat everyone but their friends like rubbish. Sometimes, their rude even to their friends!

One day after my school practicals. Which was around 4.30 PM. Me and my friends were just at the front office benches sitting around. Just so happen our faces were tilted to the direction of the entrance to the office. And a bunch of kids came out. I don't know what the hell they did, one boy was injured.You know how the fuck they respond?

They flipped us the middle finger and said "Fuck you, Stop looking!"

Middle finger to you fuckers too!
First of all, how the hell could you get injured in school, during school hours? What the hell have you been doing? Why are there a bunch of kids following you? Are you that much of a pussy you can't go alone? I tell you, 6 kids were following this injured boy. ALL of them sweared at us for coincidentally facing the office. We wouldn't even look if you came out with the sign "LOOK HERE".

So I let go of that. ( well not really, I'm still kinda pissed). The other day after my practicals (practicals are afternoon and our juniors have school in the afternoon). I was just standing by the basketball court, then my sister ran towards me(she too lacked manners). She just slapped my stomach and said "Borrow lab coat! ". I'm not lending my lab coat to such a rude kid! Then she said "My friends need it! Give it to me!". Then her friend added "Yeah, Don't be such a spoiled person and lend it to her already!Be a good brother!"

Woah, woah, woah. Good brother? Be a good sister. Learn your manners. There something called "Please and thank you". You don't slap someone in the stomach to show that you want to borrow a goddamned coat!

And another day, when I have to go home with my sister. I was waiting by the fencings. My sister was there too and I asked one of her friend to come over (apparently it was her crush). I just looked at him. He started squirming and said "what?! I didn't do anything wrong! What the hell do you want from me? Leave me alone douche!"

The reaction of a thief. I didn't say you do anything wrong. He just failed the first test of manners. I want the fucking manners from you. Their so many instances similar to this. I can tell you, almost THE WHOLE LOWER SECONDARY is like that. Wait, THE WHOLE FIRST YEARS.

And my sister fucking date jerks! Stupid, unsociable, rude, unruly, short, irresponsible and ugly maniacs! The first one made her believe in UFO's , demons, spirits and all these supernatural bullshit. The second one made her believe that all Bruneians were Caucasians or something. The third one made her think that holding hands for three minutes, was one hell of an achievement!

Goddamn it! Immature brat. Holding hands for three minutes is not a goddamn achievement. You can hold anyone elses hand you like for three minutes! I have a girlfriend and I held someone elses hand so she'd feel warmer. I hold hands with girls and guys everyday. Is that an achievement?

The thing is, the statuses she put on facebook. "I would never let you go", " I just want to be with you" etcetc. THREE WEEKS LATER, she dumps the guy, and goes for another. And the same exact thing happens! Girl, keep your statuses to yourself , because it seems like nobody can keep it. I don't fucking care, we don't fucking care, if forever to you is three weeks, atleast respect yourself and stop embarrassing yourself in public.

Who am I to say right? I'm in a relationship too.I'm probably just as immature. But I respect love. I don't treat love like its something easy to get. The time period between my current girlfriend,and my ex. A year. A year before I promised myself not to be in a relationship till I grow older, and away from this country. But love had to hit, I was magnetized.

Don't people teach respect in school anymore?

My sister treats my parents with very little respect aswell. She laughs at all their scorn , ON PURPOSE. She make puns from their scorn, IN FRONT OF THEIR FACES. She pretends she's the perfect person and won't accept their scolding.

Our parents, they tell us many things. Its not always correct, but their intentions are 110% for our good. They want nothing else but for our happiness. Sometimes, they say things hard, and we can't accept it. I've learnt to accept everything they say now. Without scorn or hate.Maybe a few thoughts in my head, but nothing harmful.

I realized what they say, makes sense after a big mistake occurs. What they say, could save me from the next mistake I make. The problem is their presentation. They sometimes present themselves as hostile and sarcastic gods. I can't blame those who rebel against them. It seems unfriendly. But look through that, don't be shallow.

They said I rush. People said I rush. Teachers said I rush. Well let me tell you one thing, I don't like to rush, Infact, I hate rushing. I just like my things faster than normal.

So I was just talking with my parents yesterday, I learnt alot of weird facts about myself when I was a newborn!

  1. I was nearly born in my dad's BMW.
  2. I salivated a lot. On beach walks, as a breeze came by, it'd deposit sand all over my face.
  3. I like to poke people's noses randomly.
  4. I'd rock myself to sleep on a hammock if no one had the time to rock me to sleep.
  5. I rarely cried for attention.
  6. I didn't say bye to my mum on the first day of school!

When I was in elementary school. I was bullied alot. I was cut, bullied, harassed, sabotaged, threatened, extorted and used. It happened every week ,every year of my primary school. I resorted to books.

Now I could stand up for myself, and I resort to music.

Don't let people get the better of you, you have better things to do.

-Sam
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Daily Bugle:Safety in numbers

Im here in full can. Just watching my friends play pool again. Theres alot of people.

Where they said "safety in numbers"? Its pretty much the fact.

People has got to learnt that their lives are mirrors of their environment. If you follow a stupid guy to his community. Theres bound to be a hundred more imbeciles .

I guess in numbers , when everyones concealed. Its dangerous. Each person knows what each person doesnt. Secrets kill. Secrets are like hidden graves of what was. I think secrets are what define our souls sculpture. If you see my sculpture. Its messed up. The secrets i have i dont even understand. I dont even know why im keeping it.



Its like a diamond sculpture with nobody to see, nobody to maintain and nobody to belong to. If you see through my eyes and smiles, you will see an island struct by a hurricane. If you see what went through my mind, its like trying to repair a million wires without labels. Its kinda sad what i think about everyday.

Im a person easily pleased by the simplicity of life. I smile at smiles. I cry for tears. I live for life. I eat to fill. I listen for music. When im near the brink of madness, its easy to cheer me up. When my minds isolated. I go mad. Im a person that will never be an island yet i already am . Love is fundamental. Love is humble. Love is everywhere. Love is safe. Safely deadly.

-Sam
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Daily Bugle: Influence

I can't believe, my life in Brunei is about to end.  A year left, and I'll be gone. And when I leave, I'm not coming back. I've to let go of everything , and everyone here. It brings me to tears just to think about the day I'll leave. All the memories I have here, they're so....precious.

"Dear Pauline,
I'm sorry, that in the next year I'll be the one saying "Sorry, I left you". I'm scared of the future. I don't think that you know how much you mean to me. I don't think you know how much I can feel that day coming already. I don't think you know , how much time I have left. I can't believe you're not holding on, and you simply let it glide. I wish I could read your mind.In my life you're the one person I'd only believe in love with. If I had the choice, I'd come back for you. If I had the choice, I wouldn't leave you. But it's not my choice to make. I don't want you to feel anchored down to me. I just want you to know my love to you, is genuine. Each and every second. If you can wait, I promise I'll come back for you, If you can't , I won't believe in love anymore. This is what's been bothering me every single day of the year. "

I can already see myself writing this letter. I can already taste the tears on that day. Maybe I'm thinking too much. I'm young, but I'm sane. The things I do are crazy, but that doesn't me I've gone mad. Being ridiculous is better than being plain boring. I have dreams, I will do everything to make them come true. One cannot imagine the amount of will power a teenager has. Only other teenagers can. I wonder if adults miss their teen hood. I wonder if they're filled with regrets or just bittersweet memories. I wonder if they've felt as crazy as we did. I'm sure they did. I wonder what kids expect in their teenage years. I wonder what they'll do and what they'll regret. I wonder what kind of memories our generation will have. I wonder if they'll have the same crazy feeling we did. I'm sure they will.

You're like a rose with a thorny stem and I'm holding you by the stem.


I feel as a teenager. A growing adolescent. There's no need to urge us to do things. Everytime I have my routine planned out. I have the things I want to do correctly already in my mind. Someone has to go "You'll have to do this later, like this. Remember to do it like that" . It ruins my self esteem. Don't you believe I will do it like that? Sometimes, I have things I've already avoided. I've already plan to avoid. Some killjoy come and say "DON'T TAKE THAT. You're not allowed to". I just feel like doing it to piss them off. Because they pissed me off. What part of independence do you not understand?

Sure, I'm just a teen. I've no rights. I've to receive all my advices, criticism and scolding properly. But I've grown. I'm not like others. You may think," everyone says that". When I think about my life, I sometime wonder, am I even a teenager?

Maybe this is part of growing up. Maybe its the amount of thoughts that go through my head. I wish someone could hear me out. I leave my daily depressions in this blog. I hope one day, someone who cares, read it and wonders. I hope one day, someone figures me out and understand me. I hope somebody would call me up, just to ask what I'm thinking.

Maybe I've gone crazy. It would be no surprise. Considering what I deal with everyday. 

"Always stay positive, nobody can stop you when you are."

It's so much easier when you said it.

 
2009
These are the boys of Year 8B. Two years ago. 8B was where, the first time in my life, I felt accepted. I felt like I belonged somewhere. These people, they molded me into who I am today. I wouldn't be playing piano today, If it weren't for them.

Tears to Be expected,
Sam.
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Night Show:"Le Conzert C'est moi!"

Fearless
Look at these fearless bastards. I wish I could do that. It's definitely in one of the things I have to do before my life ends. In life, its all about taking risks. So far, in my life, I'm about to take the biggest risks. I'm about to risk my future for a music career. I'm about to risk my love with the world's most unique person. I'm about to step in to the unknown. My time is running out, I wish she could know that. I wish she could cherish the mere minutes I have with her.

    
Chopin  
As you can see, I'm a chopin-ist. I've yet to buy the mazurkas, waltzes, concertos , sonatas and more. He's so lyrical. He conveys the message of music and the message of the piano. He's definitely one of my favorite composers.

Statue of Chopin
From his music, one can tell he had a rather depressing life. His music were filled with romanticism and sorrow. Such a romantic style can't be found anywhere or similar to anyone else. It's Chopin, he can make you smile while crying. That's how powerful his music is.

liszt concertizing
But Chopin's showman ship can't be matched upon Liszt's. Liszt made women swoon. Liszt made gorgeous woman throw themselves upon his feet......and other parts of his anatomy.

Words, they're dirty. They're untruthful lies. They're uncountable. They cannot be  trusted and they cannot be kept. That's why we have music. Because music can explain what words cannot. Music can demonstrate what words cannot. Music itself remains beautiful, when describing ugliness.

If you're wondering. My favorite piece now is a tango. Its Piazzolla. Oblivion. It makes me cry. It means alot to me. It reminds me of her. Its the only friend I've got relating to my misery. I cannot imagine what life would be without her. I cannot imagine what life I would have without her. I cannot imagine, what life I would have, if I hadn't touched the piano. Its fate.I trust fate. I believe in fate.

She treats me coldly sometimes. I bear with it. I think myself lucky to be able to have someone like her. It kills me a little everytime I overthink. I've been overthinking less. Thanks to this blog. It's like a seed for me. To grow my thoughts. To harvest them at a later date.

My life now, I love it. I appreciate every single thing I have. I don't hate anything. I have computer, clothing, food, transport, aircon, everything not everyone wished they could have.  I've a supporting family, wonderful friends, a great talent and an amazing girlfriend. I couldn't ask for more. Couldn't ask for more....but time.

It sucks to see some people complain about life. Like how they hate tomatoes and throw it out. Like how they hate vegetables and throw it out. Some people don't appreciate what they have, they don't realize what people don't have. Our earth is dying. We're here driving around in luxurious conditions contributing to pollution. I've no idea what the future holds.

Pauline, if by any chance you read this. I miss you. I see you everyday, yet I miss you. Your care and everything. I miss you.

-Sam
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Evening Edition: mini us

Mini us
This is Mini us. I drew it in my organizer. And well, added colors in photoshop. Its been along time since I drew any of these. I really miss it. Especially the ones she drew.

Remember those flying moustaches?And how we drew suns and clouds? Our childhood. It seems only childhood simplicity can cure madness.

Today after I was done teaching JJ, I exposed him to classical music. I respect that dude for having respect for music. You should have seen his expression ,it was like he heard god whispering.

Anyways, those flying moustaches were  drawn by my Big Fat friend, Yousof! :D

   
Two years ago.
If you're wondering why all my friends' photos are in uniform. Well its because I only have photos I've taken from school. These are people I don't wanna ever forget. Its hard because I know I won't be seeing them for long.

I was just reminded of how crucial my year is. I'm having GCE O'levels. I HAVE to get great results. Or I'm stuck in Brunei, and my ambition to be a Pianist is demolished. I need the results because I think colleges read your results.

My parents will be sending me to International Competitions next year. And with these large amount of expenses on me, I really have to achieve my goals. Its do or die in my case. The road of music really is dangerous. I've missed out alot in my childhood. I've a feeling I'll miss out alot on my teenhood too. Thank god for my friends. Their so supportive and caring. Thank god for Pauline, she listens and keep my heart company. Thank god for music, its keeping my mind tame.

I will be going swimming in a while. LEARN swimming. See what I meant? I don't even know how to swim, and I'm already 15. Theres tons of stuff I've no idea how to do. Like riding a bicycle, cartwheeling and others. But I'm revisiting my childhood. Or more like rebuilding.

Muse-Black out " Don't waste your time, or time will waste you"

-Sam
Thanks for reading my thoughts .
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Midnight rendezvous: Alibi

I've been up since 5 am this morning. Its 45 minutes to midnight. With school from 7a.m till 4pm and night activities. I've had no time to do homework. As a result I'm staying up to do my Biology Past Year homework. My teacher gave two weeks to do. And for two weeks I didn't do it! How lazy I am.

Its never good to do last minute. But we all do it. I guess its a habit which somewhat may help.

I'm listening to relaxing music.
Alibi-30 Seconds to Mars
Its 30 seconds to mars. Sounds hardcore, but no, this is one of their relaxing music. My parents are asleep and it doesn't even disturb them. Music is good. Its all good.

I have Extra classes tomorrow, and I'm teaching JJ piano tomorrow afternoon. Then swimming at night. Wow, I'm really busy. My schedules are busy whole days on Thursdays,Fridays and Saturdays. The others , I'm free at night only. I'd really rather be busy and tired than be jobless and let my mind wander of a cliff. Overthinking really kills.

I've recently watched glee. Its an episode about Justin Bieber. Its got me addicted to Baby! :D
I've got to respect that man, for being able to achieve his dreams via youtube. And have the girls all swoon over him. There's really nothing to hate in life. Just everything to love.

My last thoughts? Its too young to hate, not too young to love.

-Sam
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Evening Edition: Rule # 1-Smile

After a month of delay, I finally finished two more chapters in my computer project! I've only finished four, its not much of an achievement.

I've been thinking (no, not overthinking. Smiles are definitely day makers. When you're down and blue, anyone who smiles at you just make you smile! Smiling is contagious! Emotions are contagious. Trust me, Paul quoted this. PAUL MICHAEL MARQUEZ.
Paul Michael Marquez

When you're trying to cheer someone up,don't dwell in their sadness. Make them walk in your happiness instead. Smile! When we do everything, we should smile. Because smiling is positively charging everyone.

In my heart, the person who has the sweetest smile would be the girl that has changed my mindset. Pauline Chen <3

Us on a group date


I've also been looking back at my really really old journals. Like small notebooks that I used to write it. I'll post what I write in them soon. I noticed, time flies like hell now. When you're so busy, when you've so many things to do and so many things you have to complete. Time just runs away from you. Only yesterday I Remember it was Christmas. Tomorrow its gonna be Chinese new year.

Oh wells, Time is something we can't control. So what do we do? Surf it. Surfers can't control the wave, so they surf it. Time is like a wave, in a sense. So we surf it. How do we surf it? I really don't know.

RECENTLY
I've read a post about synesthesia. JEN JEN JEN
Credits to Sarah from Flickr.Its time synesthesia.


You can click here to go to wikipedia and read about it!

I think I have it. And its really messy when it comes to math.

It makes me hear the piano like crystal. Like a crystal singing. Like snow flakes humming. Like waterfall and streams threading. To me that's what the piano sounds like. It sometimes sound like the sky, like the wind and like a wheel.

The saxophone sounds like smoke. It sounds so thick and so soft. Very much like a soft brush on a canvas.

The violin, sounds like trees growing. I know its weird, but that's what I think. Trees growing, a dream singing, the moon rolling. Its funny how I associate it with that.

The cello sounds like the damp air. It sounds so resonant and whirly.

These are all my thoughts. I don't know if you feel the same way. I really am weird.

Here's a little quote I found in my old books:-

Becareful when fighting the monster. Lest you become the monster yourself.
Its by Friedrich Nietsche.

-Sam
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Piano technician Number one:Mr.Tan

A mid built man with brushed hair. Dyed dark auburn with hints of white. Weak looking eyes and sympathetic face. A strong talker and sweet flowing voice.


A man that looks innocent. With all facial features exact and full.
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daily bugle :must it be ? It must be !

Im updating from my phone! Ill be doing that often.

So the very first piano technician I had is here. Hes the one that dealt us the seiler. My tall awesome seiler.

It has so many problems that not one was mentioned to my father. So after months of forceful interacting, he agreed to come down and repair the piano. Hes having a hard time.

When we do something, its gotta be truthful and honest from start. If not , you'd find your self in positions like the technician. My dads ready to Pummel him if he doesnt do the job. Its been a year hes trying his best to avoid us . I guess it also helps to be patient. I heard a saying. Patience will resolve everything in life. Sounds legit? Not really when i first heard it. But think about it indirectly, it really does resolve almost everything. Ive learnt to be patient. To Wear a smile when times are annoying. It helps.

I also think that,being persistent is a powerful value. We're being taught values in school. But I think these values, we've known since childhood. They are responsibility,initiative, honor, respect and teamwork. They're teaching what we already know. I think its time they teach us something we don't already know :P

The fun thing is that, we have competitions and performances and days dedicated to these values. As stated on my right, there is a music fest and gen dance. Its been years! There's an honor yourself day, where you get to wear casual. Its a big bonus for us because we wear uniforms.

Never lose hope. Always have faith. Most importantly , stay positive. Thanks for reading it till here. I sometimes wish people could read thoughts. I'd write them, you'd read them.
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Before Sunrise

Just woken up. Its still 5a.m. I don't know why I'd update this blog again. I guess its where I can type stuff and let people read it. With proper circulation, the right people read it, and the wrong people don't.

I'm preparing for school. It seems now, time flies so fucking fast. I Remember only yesterday it was my sister's birthday. Today, its the middle of the week. Saturday's almost here.

If I were to control time, I'd let it flow naturally to. I don't blame you god. Its just hard sometimes, that time treats us like this.

I know why I update this blog now. I overthink.

I can just type out all my thoughts here. Safe. I guess that is what a blog is about right?

I guess I'ma move to the topic.

Lets talk about rebellion. My parents think I don't listen to them and I rebel. That isn't the case mom and dad.

Its not that I'm going against you. I just thought I put your thoughts on hold while I embrace my own thoughts and look for a better technique. Until my thoughts are terminated, I'll go with yours. I know it wastes time, but while I have the creative spirit. Let me be.

I love my parents. I really do. The only problem is, they don't really understand me. They know me, but not understand me. Oh wells, I guess thats what they call rebellious teen action.

Anyways, my sweetheart Pauline<3
Thanks to her I've learnt many things. Such are just because she doesn't love me the way I want her to, it doesn't mean, she doesn't love me with all she has.

After many weeks of coldness.The epic post-valentines candy high. I've felt a bright spark of love.  She's taught me patience, determination, faith, consistency, devotion, responsibility and sincerity on so many different levels.

If I were to count the number of girlfriends I've had. I would say she's the first REAL girlfriend. 

The first I've ever held hands with, held in my arms, kissed, cried for, wished for , hoped for, waited for, do anything for and really just dedicate your life to.

If she reads this, Pauline, I want you to know that even though we're just teenagers. Eventhough we aren't supposed to have rights. We do have rights. We have rights to love. I'm  embracing this right, and embracing our love. I love you and I don't wanna believe in love with someone else. I don't care how people see us, I just want to see you. 
At the right time, I will use this right, so that we won't have to hide. We're not doing anything wrong, but in fact, its something right. Trust me on this one.

-Sam
Such a long post. If you've read till here. Thanks for listening to my train of thoughts. (:  
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Daily bugle:Like pool

Like Pool

Hey everybody. Im updating from my phone.

When youre such a social person , theres only one thing that can stop you from being social. Thats seeing your closest friends fight .

You know both of them made their mistakes. You know both of them are your closest friends. You really have no idea which side youre on. It pains to see your friends tear their friendship apart and filling the gap with hate due to a misunderstanding. Its really hard seeing someone use all their effort to hate and not letting you do the right thing to deter their will. You wish they would get back and be friends. It seems close to the line of impossible that it would happen.

Its when I can say,life is like a game of pool. You have to take your time step by step and be patient to get your goals. Sometimes you missed your chance but it usually gives rise to more chances . You have to be fair and well tempered and you have to exert just enough force for it to go your way. The start don't matter in life. The end neither. Its how you walk the journey that determines your person.

I really hope my these two characters would stop their feud. Remember their friendship and forgive each other. When two fights , theres always more than two victims. The people who cares are all those who are involved. Its not that we cant mind our own business. Its that we cant watch this rip tear down to two. God bless this situation.





So me and the guys went to play pool before our Biology practicals. I really quite suck at it. I can hit the cue properly. All these guys , they're damn good. I don't know if its damn good, because they're all way much more better than me :P.

Their game flows like water.After practicals, I managed to take a few weird snapshots of my friends.

Pedo smile
 This is Ishamar above trying to do something to Liyana.
This is Ishamar below when something was done to him.
I guess karma's really that fair no? :P
Paul put his shoe across the road.

Wafi! The man who love apples and waffles.
He was looking epic. I thought its an epic fail. Sooooo~ :P
 
 You know what the second one's all about. You can see, friends are people who won't let you do stupid things alone. Or maybe their just people who won't do stupid things alone. Which ever it is, I've been stuck with these retards since last year. I will miss them after this year ends. They've made my life so much funnier.

The beautiful thing in life, Love. Love for anything. Love for music, family, friends and that one special person. Everyone's got it. Don't forsake it, love's hard to find. 

-Sam
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Evening Edition:Wishes

We all wish someone could understand us. Someone would know us. Someone would unendingly be there to support us. That someone would care for you no matter what you looked like, what your history was and what your person is. The ones that really would stay by your side till their death.

We all have great friends and this one special person. They mean the whole world to you. And you're so afraid to lose them. They are the ones that make your world go round, that is if you're still in school. They fight with you for all the right causes sometimes. You'd love them for who they are. You'd think they'd stay with you. You're wrong.  They won't leave you, because you might as well as hell , leave them for something amazing. You have lives and dreams to pursue.

I'm talking about out parents.They would do anything in their power to make sure you live a happy life. They scold you , scorn you,beat you but it hurts them more than it hurts you. Not everything they say is correct, but everything they say was not meant to hurt you at all. They may be the last person in the world to understand you, they really would. When they're gone, they're gone. You'd wish you had love them more.

Their wish is for you ;us; to grow up in to useful people to the society. To have us a happy life. Next time you feel like hating your parents, think about it. Its not worth it.

Listen to them for a change. Make them happy.
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New beginnings.

So I'm starting over again. I'm correcting my knowledge. I'm changing my ways.

I'm starting from square one. I'm rewriting my history. I'm rewriting THE history.

But its Dèja vu. I hate big decision making. Its the second time this had happened. I find the similarities in these two different persons. And these two are supposed to save me from this one person. I'm paying to play piano to my current teacher. She has told me she had been hurt once. And she had me apologizing not to do it again.

And yet I did. I'm two timing another one. But this time I'm splitting of her. I feel horrible. Its for my own good but I feel horrible. I can't believe this is going again.

Oh wells, Its for my own good anyways.
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John Liew

A man of striking composure. A stern facial expression locked at sight. With a build and look of a military man. He has a burn of direction in his eyes.He has a solid tone of speaking and a controlling opposition.

A welcoming smile is exposed as he tells stories and sheepish laughter to awkward moments. A determined nod was suggested at every fact given to him and confirm by his professional gait.